AFVOA Newletters of Year 2004

Page 149 of 153 willing to work with you on a solution. Remind yourself that getting angry is not going to fix anything, that it won’t make you feel better (and may actually make you feel worse). 152. Logic defeats anger, because anger, even when it’s justified, can quickly become irrational. So use cold hard logic on yourself. Remind yourself that the world is “not out to get you,” you’re just experiencing some of the rough spots of daily life. Do this each time you feel anger getting the best of you, and it’ll help you get a more balanced perspective. Angry people tend to demand things: fairness, appreciation, agreement, willingness to do things their way. Everyone wants these things, and we are all hurt and disappointed when we don’t get them, but angry people demand them, and when their demands aren’t met, their disappointment becomes anger. As part of their cognitive restructuring, angry people need to become aware of their demanding nature and translate their expectations into desires. In other words, saying, “I would like” something is healthier than saying, “I demand” or “I must have” something. When you’re unable to get what you want, you will experience the normal reactions—frustration, disappointment, hurt—but not anger. Some angry people use this anger as a way to avoid feeling hurt, but that doesn’t mean the hurt goes away. Please await our next issue which will cover the techniques to overcome the problems. How To Relax at Your Desk by Cathleen Henning 153. Finding time to take relaxation breaks at a busy, stressful job can be difficult. This relaxation exercise may be practiced in a short time while sitting at your desk. Over time, regular practice will have long-term benefits. All that it requires is just about 10 minutes a day. Here’s How: a) Sit up straight with your back against the back of your chair, your feet flat on the floor, and your hands resting lightly on your thighs. b) If possible, close your eyes. You can do the exercise without closing your eyes, but closing your eyes will help you relax a bit more. Do not clench your eyes shut. Let your eyelids fall naturally. c) Breathe in slowly through your nose, counting to 5. Hold the breath for a count of 5. Breathe out slowly, counting to five. Repeat. d) This exercise is performed by tensing and holding a set of muscles for a count of 5, and then relaxing the set of muscles for a count of 5. e) When you tense each muscle set, do it as hard as you can without hurting yourself. When you release the hold, be as relaxed as possible. f) Begin by tensing your feet. Do this by pulling your feet off the floor and your toes toward you while keeping your heels on the floor. Hold for a slow count of 5. g) Release the hold. Let your feet fall gently back. Feel the relaxation. Think about how it feels compared to when you tensed the muscles. Relax for a count of 5. h) Next tense your thigh muscles as hard as you can. Hold for a count of 5. Relax the muscles and count to 5. i) Tighten your abdominal muscles and hold for a count of 5. Relax the muscles for a count of 5. Be sure you are continuing to sit up straight. j) Tense your arm and hand muscles by squeezing your hands into fists as hard as you can. Hold for a count of 5. Relax the muscles completely for a count of 5.