AFVOA Newletters of Year 2004

Page 146 of 153 By Cathleen Henning How to get your anger under control 132. It is not unusual for anxiety and anger to be connected. Anger may trigger anxiety. Anxiety may anger us. If we don’t face our anger and learn to manage it, it may surface in unpredictable ways. The following Web sites offer a variety of techniques for managing anger. If you have an anxiety disorder, please discuss your concerns about anger with your therapist. “Chances are good that if you do have a problem with anger, you already know it. If you find yourself acting in ways that seem out of control and frightening, you might need help finding better ways to deal with this emotion.” -- from Controlling Anger – Before It Controls You by the American Psychological Association. Controlling Anger -- Before It Controls You 133. We all know what anger is, and we’ve all felt it: whether as a fleeting annoyance or as full-fledged rage. Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion. But when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to problems—problems at work, in your personal relationships, and in the overall quality of your life. And it can make you feel as though you’re at the mercy of an unpredictable and powerful emotion. This note is meant to help you understand and control anger. What is Anger? The Nature of Anger 134. Anger is “an emotional state that varies in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage,” according to Charles Spielberger, PhD, a psychologist who specializes in the study of anger. Like other emotions, it is accompanied by physiological and biological changes; when you get angry, your heart rate and blood pressure go up, as do the levels of your energy hormones, adrenaline, and noradrenaline. 135. Anger can be caused by both external and internal events. You could be angry at a specific person (Such as a coworker or supervisor) or event (a traffic jam, a canceled flight), or your anger could be caused by worrying or brooding about your personal problems. Memories of traumatic or enraging events can also trigger angry feelings. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ A happy man marries the girl he loves; a happier man loves the girl he marries. ~Anonymous Expressing Anger 136. The instinctive, natural way to express anger is to respond aggressively. Anger is a natural, adaptive response to threats; it inspires powerful, often aggressive, feelings and behaviors, which allow us to fight and to defend ourselves when we are attacked. A certain amount of anger, therefore, is necessary to our survival. 137. On the other hand, we can’t physically lash out at every person or object that irritates or annoys us; laws, social norms, and common sense place limits on how far our anger can take us. 138. People use a variety of both conscious and unconscious processes to deal with their angry feelings. The three main approaches are EXPRESSING, SUPPRESSING, and