AFOVA Newletters of Year 2001

Page 27 of 52 General, that is rarely allowed in the civilised world. And in any case, Pakistan is already in possession of a massive chunk of India’s real estate for 54 years without an iota of documentation. So you shouldn’t be too unhappy. After all, you win some, you lose some, and there’s always the next time, as Agra appears to have promised. In any case, you have indeed made history through Agra. Without much effort, for instance, you made monkeys out of our media. For weeks before you came and till you left, they lapped you up and your country’s “experts” as well as commoners in the vegetable market and elsewhere, splashing “the core issue” in our mainline television channels and newspapers. Why, some of the latter became so mesmerised that their edit and the front pages were often flooded with articles penned by passionately patriotic journos from your country; some of those were supplemented by efforts from our own “objective” pen pushers who, for reasons unknown, were so keen on projecting the Pak viewpoint. That is why some smart ones in Mumbai conceived of such names as “The Times of Pakistan” and “The Pakistan Express” over their morning cup of tea in the last few weeks. And, of course, you saw how our media covered your visit itself -- from your sartorial style to your begum’s culinary choices. All of it was truly historic, wasn’t it? In fact, General, we know you as one who had made history more than once even before you got our PM’s invitation. The first was in October 1999 when you staged a coup to dethrone Nawaz Sharif; it must surely have been the first time in world history that someone sitting in an aeroplane in the skies had, through remote control, seized power over a whole country. By repeatedly proclaiming your “any time any place” intention, it was the first time ever, says Benazir Bhutto, that Islamabad was begging for a meeting with India. Begging for succour from the IMF and the World Bank had started becoming Pakistan’s trait, but begging for a meet with New Delhi? That was unique; it was history. You also made history when just two days before flying off to New Delhi, you disowned the Simla Agreement of 1972 and the Lahore Declaration of 1999. Whatever the reason you gave Gulf Times for it, the deed of disowning internationally signed accords must surely rank as an event in the history of the civilised world. Even the latest Bush of the USA has declined the temptation of a unilateral end to the Anti–Ballistic Missiles Treaty with Russia. And though you quickly blamed it on a misquote or a misinterpretation by the Gulf newspaper, your historic act held sway for two days, even as the truth of your feelings lie imprisoned in your heart. On our soil itself, you made more history. You became the first Pakistani to receive a 21-gun salute from the Indian nation-- that’s how stupid the civilised Indian is, General. And you were the first Pakistani ever to be the guest in our hallowed Rashtrapati Bhavan, reminding one of the tale of Red Riding Hood. You also created history by being the first Pakistani head of state ever to pay homage at Rajghat. We’re thankful for that gesture, but why did that solemn occasion provoke the hint of a smile on your face and a broad smile on your begum’s face right in front of the samadhi? The newspaper camera had never before caught any VIP smiling while standing before a cenotaph, and that too of Mahatma Gandhi. Then there was your tea, sympathy and sandwiches (beef most certainly) with those Hurriyat loudmouths. That was no “non-issue” as our naive government and Pakistani columnists wanted us to believe. Instead, it was a calculated insult of the hosts as historic as it would have been if Vajpayee had insisted on supping with the Cuban Communists when he was President Clinton’s guest last year. But we Indians, General, are stupidly civilised as you may have fully realised by now. There’s more of your brush with history. According to Ajmer’s maulvis, the welcome that was planned for you at the city’s shrine of Khwaja Moinuddin Chishti would have