AFVOA Newsletter 03 of 2020

Section 5 - Memoirs CV 2 No. 03 / 2020 Page 93 of 167 herself to protect her son from his wife. Depending on the situation, her advice comes in many different variants – affectionate, angry, sorrowful, and so on. As the son’s family grows, the mother’s advice gets eroded by her affection and attachment to her grandchildren. One person who advises you from day one of your relationship is your wife. That advice is popularly known (among mothers-in-law) as ‘Pillow Mantra’ ( தைலயைணமந்�ரம் ) – not to be confused with pillow talk. By the way, ‘Pillow Talk’ was a famous and popular movie of late 50s with Rock Hudson and Doris Day in lead roles. ‘Pillow Mantra’ is administered at night in the bed in a soft soothing voice when the husband is invariably in a sort of trance. Those who love happiness and peace at home generally abide by that advice. The young officers who are already conditioned by service etiquette of obeying the orders of their superiors without asking a single question have no difficulty in adjusting to the superior orders of their wives. It is one continuum at both office and home. If you look at it another way, not the other way, you are free from onerous decision making. Husbands too advise their wives occasionally after cautiously choosing right occasions. The vacillating type of husband keeps brooding like Hamlet whether to advise or not. By the time his vacillation is over, the occasion for advice is also over. The delicate type keeps a good gift in reserve to mollify his wife should his advice backfire. He is perfectly satisfied so long as his gift is accepted even though his advice is rejected. The foodie type would not venture advising his wife before the meal is finished. For him, missing a meal is life’s biggest punishment. The public type is exclusively committed to political advising outside of all domestic politics. The sleeptalker type chooses to offer all his advice during the pretended sleep, preferably after an evening with some extra spirits. You often get friendly advice from people who are far from your friends. Also, more often than not, friendly advice is anything but friendly. In the three Services, good friends do not advice or at least hesitate to offer advice for fear of ruining the friendship and offending ‘Bhabhi’. They will help you, but generally not advise you. Particularly when your bachelor friend is beholden to Bhabhi’s sumptuous and homely lunches and dinners which help him escape from the dietary regimen of the Officers’ Mess, he is more likely to please you by echoing your views rather than steering you on the right path. Though a friend in need is a friend indeed, most of us do not want to be surrounded by friends who are in constant need! If you are a couch potato, a lot of free advice floats your way as you surf your TV channels. Three cooks on three different channels explain to you how to spoil your broth. Four health experts give you a dozen tips that tilt the bathroom scale heavily against you. Then